Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops