Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Daniel is a fag

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops