What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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12 niqqa 12.

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guess what what ...

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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An anti-joke

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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