Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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