How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is 33 + 1? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Oh s***

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops