Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops