You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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what color is blue? green

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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Rick Perry.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Oh...okay, good.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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