Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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