- Anti Joke

An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

an ethopian thanksgiving

knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops