How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

João Duarte reads this.

If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

You know what's gay?? Lesbians

What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

Why was the man sad? His brother died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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