"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

Turkey Balls

God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

I love you

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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