Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -24

BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Women's professional sports

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops