Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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CFL

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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