What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Click here for free sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops