Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops