Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

What stops a train? A missile

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

Women

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

This is not a joke.

What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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