How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops