Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

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Guess what? SHADAP

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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wanna hear a joke? no

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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