Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

thumb_up thumb_down -133

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

thumb_up thumb_down +138

17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

21

thumb_up thumb_down +108

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +56

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Popsicles

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops