Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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