why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Pineapple.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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The Big Band Theory

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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