what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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i like pie

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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knock knock. no one's home..

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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