A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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You're on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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