So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Rebecca Black's career.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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Justin Bieber.

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What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Why did the little girl not speak? It was Anne Frank

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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