Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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11111

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66

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Hi Adam,

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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