Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

A baby seal walks into a club.

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

I like turtoes.

Libraries.

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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