just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get down.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops