Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down -25

cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Fat people

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops