Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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potatoes

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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There was once a man with a penis so huge, his girlfriend liked their sexual experiences very much. A year later they got married and had kids, however the man got fired from his accounting job and it all went downhill.

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30cm = 0,3meters

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops