Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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A women left the kitchen.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne-Frankly, I do nazi the point in them.

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Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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