A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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Female Orgasms

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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A jew enters a mall.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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