Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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knock knock come in!

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25

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Elizabeth Warren

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Dwight Howard

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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