Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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