squash squash who squash my ass

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops