Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

you know what they say... hydrate or die

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

What rhymes with you? You.

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

Oh look, I've found my knife

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

Your mom is so...wonderful.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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