What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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