What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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