how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Boom.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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