What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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My name is Jeff

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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