Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock, Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

thumb_up thumb_down -70

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

thumb_up thumb_down -101

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops