A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family weaped his final days of his life.

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

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I'm hungry.

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An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Ross.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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