how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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whats worse than having that Holocaust joke be the best anti-joke for months? Windows updates

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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