Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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Q:Why did the man have a lot of Hoes? A: He was an experienced Agriculturalist.

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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I just drank a cola.

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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epic win?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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