What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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your life

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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