How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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hey, my names mark.

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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Women's Professional _________

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops