Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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hey John will you make some copies

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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So does Blake

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops