Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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jwe

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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Sex with people under twelve years/MONTHS? You think I am a pervert or something? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: DAMN STRAIGHT I AM! People use to tell me they know I am good on the inside... Joke is on them, I I fool them all by being slightly kind on the outside!

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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