Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Sarah Palin

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops