Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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