im gay because im gay

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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