knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

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2 + 2 = 4

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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